New Year, New Diet, New Life

Hi!
Right now I'm watching The Simpsons and listening to the heavy rain. I hate rain! I feel like doing nothing when its raining.... Thank god I went to the gym this morning because theres no way I'm getting up now!
I'm unemployed and single, things didn't have the best start this 2012, but I'm gonna change that! At least I'm back at my apartment without my mom's constant checking on me. That was a little upsetting.

I've been trying this new diet pills to supress my appetite, and its actually working. I take 1 before going to the gym in the mornings and dont feel hungry until lunch.
So far today:

A banana........................................ 206
Two whole wheat crackers................. 34
Two slices of cheese....................... 156
Granola Bar.................................... 120

516 Calories.

I'm gonna make a salad right now and I guess thats it for the rest of the day!
I'm so happy to read all about you guys again! We're on this together.
Think thin!

xoxo

I'm sorry for dissapearing!

I'm sorry for dissapearing!
Could you all forgive me and be friends with me again?

Its been a while since my last post and I thought I should let you all know what happened....

1)  I went to Paris and although I wasn't as skinny as I wanted to, I felt pretty great about myself and ended up meeting a guy there. He's french and his name is Eddy. Work was boring as always, but being in Paris just gave me a huge new perspective of what I wanted for my life. I stayed longer than the week I was supposed to stay there. First because I missed my flight! I know, I'm very stupid, the truth is I wasn't ready to leave the city. Eddy is 34 and that was something new too. He taught me so much about a lot of things, but when I told him I had to go back he couldn't understand it and things ended.

2)  I came back and decided to start a new diet because all the drinking and desserts I had in Paris. Well, I tried to start a new blog again but work got really really crazy and my boss was hating me because I decided to stay longer than planned. She threw me all her work plus mine. I wasn't eating at all.... I think I lost like 8 pounds in a week. But it was no good. I fainted on an event we had at the office and my parents got really concerned about my health.

3) I resigned from my job and was forced to move back to my hometown under supervision of my mom. Then started to go to the doctor and started to gain weight again. I guess I got healthier, but that also means fatter. And now almost 4 months after all this crap, I came back to my apartment to discover I am 154.7 pounds.

I don't blame you for not wanting to read me or be supportive anymore, I don't deserve it. I just wanted you to know what I was going through, and if I didn't answer your messages was only because I had too much going on.

I can not thank you enough for all the support you gave me, and I would love if you could go in a new journey with me. MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 2 MONTHS!


xoxo

Day 28 - Whats the point?

I gain! WTF!
I cant handle this mood changes, this food cravings and all this crap! Phil and I ended things!
Im trying to be mature about it but it just pisses me off he is such a coward and can not fight for us like I want to. oh well.... I guess I shouldnt be making such a big deal about it!, we only went out for 2 weeks..... 2 awesome weeks were he was the sweetest guy ever, 2 weeks were he would call to see how my morning was going and we would meet after work for coffee or a movie. 2 weeks were he told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world, were he told me he wanted to meet my parents and he invited me to miami in october to see his mom. 2 weeks were he introduced me to his friends and all of them told him "Dude, dont screw things up with this girl! shes amazing!!!", he would grab my hand and kiss it and said to them, "I know" seriously...... WTF!!!

I didnt even have sex with him. When I really really like someone, I like to take things slow... we would fool around, and he stayed at my apartment like 3 times and we just had so much fun together everytime! I was falling hard for this kid! and everything is gone now.

Im sorry for the rambling post.... I feel like theres no guy out there for me. Im loosing hope in love, Ive been hurt so many times, you think it should get easier, but it doesnt! and to top that I gain like 2 pounds! hahahaa the universe hates me. period.

Day 27

Hi!
Well, my plans for the weekend were basically thrown away and were replaced with a lot of partying. Im hating this monday more than ever! Too much alcohol and bad decisions.
I didnt run, I didnt exercise, I didnt eat healthy and did I mention in addition to all this I had pizza last night! peperoni! like 5 or 6 slices. Im a pig.

Ok. I hope everyones weekend was better than mine. Clean start now thats monday. But I hate myself for putting all that crap into my body. Surprisingly I didnt gain that much. I expected a lot this morning on the scale but it was not that bad.

Im at the office now, my boss baked some weird french dessert this weekend and decided to share it with my this morning! grrrrrr! I couldnt say no, of course, I thought I could throw it away later, but she was like "please try some and tell me how it tastes!" oh dear god! shes very difficult! I had to tho.

The plan for today is this super healthy chop suey place I found. Only veggies and a small portion of rice. I already had my 2 cups of coffee for breakfast and dinner will be a little hard because I invited Phil for dinner... we need to talk, I didnt see him all weekend. He totally disappeared and didnt call me since thursday, he wouldnt answer my calls either! what a douche! anyway... he wanted to go out and have a "talk" but I was like, I´ll cook and we can talk in my apartment. I figured it would be better, I can make something healthy and dont have the temptation of desserts. About him, well... I dont know where we are now. I guess its over. we´ll see what happens tonight.

stay strong ladies! I miss you all!
I will comment  back on all of your blogs tonight.
xoxo

Day 24

Today Im 149.6...... only -0.7 pounds. that sucks!
and on top of that, I just had 3 bags of m&ms! Im sorry this isnt a happy post! but I just throw up to try to take out of my system all those calories.

Its like Im becoming that girl I used to hate again. And it took me a while to get my shit together, and now everthing is falling apart! I hate being this sad and worried all the time and I definitely dont enjoy puking. But Im gonna try to stay strong.

Yesterday I had like 5 cups of coffee, 18 almonds and a fat free yogurt! I was so proud of myself. But then I went to that birthday party and had chips and salsa, and cake! grrrrrrr. what is wrong with me! Im out of diet pills, and its getting a little hard. The weekend is here and Im super scared. Even worse for my mood swings, Phil (the guy Ive been seeing), didnt call yesterday! Its almost 1pm and he hasnt called. what the hell? I dont even know if we are in a relationship or what is this...... R E T A R D E D !

Decaff coffee............................................................. 0
18 almonds............................................................... 289
Activia Fat free yogurt............................................... 80
it was perfect 369 cal!

But then I decided to ingest chips and salsa and a slice of cake! I hate myself!
Why cant I just say NO, its not that hard..... N+O= NO!
To Weightless ---> I hope you did better than me! Im a loser. This weekend Im gonna exercise a lot! I always complain on not having enough time to run in the week, but the truth is that I do nothing on the weekends. Like parting and drinking were exercise... hmmmm.... I WISH! but its not! so, I have a plan to go out runing untill my legs hurt!

My parents are coming to visit me next weekend, and I just want them to see me better! I hate my moms first reaction everytime she comes to see me, since I left her house. "omg Anna, your face looks more rounded!" Geeee thanks mom! and my dad is "Sweety, when are u gonna cut carbs out of your diet." do I have the most amazing parents or what? hahahha......... So hopefully they will be happy Im thiner and will buy me a lot of stuff like clothes, shoes, jewelery and things for my apartment!
I need new rings hahaha, its funny how your fingers become smaller also. Some of the rings dont fit me anymore, I mean, they are too big for my fingers. thats a weird place to loose fat from I guess! hahaha

xoxox

Day 23 - Oh! Denim Shorts

Good morning ladies and HELLOOOOO September!

lets make the best out of this month, do not flunk, think thin and stay strong :)

Yesterdays menu was good I guess. I had coffee in the morning, then a tuna salad for lunch, where I had to listen to my boss go on and on about the diet of the asterisks, or something like that. Have any of you tried that before? The food is supposed to be separated into 4 different colors and youre allowed to eat everything you want without mixing colors. I really couldnt care less, but she was like: "Anna, did u have anything for breakfast? and what about breadstuff for your lunch or carbs, that salad is not enough, youre gonna be hungry later and are going to eat so much more than if u had a healthy complete lunch" seriously, my relationship with her is love/hate. I lied, what else could I do. I said I had a sandwich for breakfast and that I was going to have chips or something like that after the salad.

Anyway, after work 3 of my best girlfriends came to my apartment and we sat in the livingroom to gossip and talk about random stuff! I needed that time with my girls and since we´re all on diets we had fruit and granola. it was nice.... not that any of them need to loose any weight! My scale is on my livingroom, because I have a full body mirror there, so I like looking at the mirror and then weigh myself, so one of them decided to weigh right there in front of us and that bitch is 108.5! OMG I love her to death but I hate I can not be that skinny!

Ok, enough! I will be that skinny! and I will wear denim shorts like theese. Im in love.

Today I am 150.3!!!!!

That means 1.7 pounds lighter than yesterday! good news!

Im scared about tonight tho. I have a birthday party and we all know how can yourself let go sorrounded by friends and snacks, and cake and lets dont forget about the alcoholic friend who obviously is gonna bring beer or something. Grrrr! Im really gonna try just to go say hi and leave. Supposedly I have a date with the guy Ive been seeing, but he didnt call me yesterday, we just texted back and forth, so I dont know whats the plan.

Tuna Salad.......................................................................  340

Decaff coffee witout sugar.................................................   0

Strawberries and half banana............................................. 138.5

Granola.............................................................................  240

TOTAL 718.5 cal

I really need to get back in track. That means under 500 per day! No more granola for me

xo

Day 22

Last day of August!
Yaaaaaay :) Get here already September!!! In 25 days I'll be in Paris and I'll feel great about myself and my body... Yesterday, my boss invited me for lunch at this really nice place. She says I've been doing so great at work and managing the pressure, I deserved a free lunch haha!

I had a thai salad, it was basically a lot of lettuce, mushrooms, vinager and turkey breast. I removed the fried onions! I was really proud of myself, because they have the most amazing crepes in the world there, but I had the salad. I went to the bathroom when I was done and when I got back, my boss had ordered 2 mini waffles with nutella!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrr! seriously??????? She was like, I ordered dessert for both of us! I was like, oh thank you but I can not eat that! she was like, come on Anna, you better get used to it! They love dessert in France.

Omg! I had 75% of that waffle! it was so damn good!!!!! I hate I love to eat!
After work I went to the doctor and got lost. I had to walk like 20 blocks to find this place! I guess that was good for a small workout right? OMG I cant wait for my hip bones to pop out! Thats another obsession!!!

Today Im 152!!!!!

Thats exciting, because I managed to loose 2.7 pounds even having a waffle for dessert! haha... this kind of news make me happy! Its becoming harder for me not to eat at night! I hate it! any suggestions??? I had to brush my teeth like 3 times last night so the food would taste horrible! I also took laxies so probably Im under 152 because I weight before going to bathroom. Anyway...

Turkey (light meat) Salad...................................................... 242.9

A portion of Mango.............................................................. 107.3

Mini waffle with Nutella........................................................ 282.5

50gr Light Peanuts................................................................ 120

TOTAL: 752.7 cal

Fuck you waffle!!!!!!!!!!