Day 22

Last day of August!
Yaaaaaay :) Get here already September!!! In 25 days I'll be in Paris and I'll feel great about myself and my body... Yesterday, my boss invited me for lunch at this really nice place. She says I've been doing so great at work and managing the pressure, I deserved a free lunch haha!

I had a thai salad, it was basically a lot of lettuce, mushrooms, vinager and turkey breast. I removed the fried onions! I was really proud of myself, because they have the most amazing crepes in the world there, but I had the salad. I went to the bathroom when I was done and when I got back, my boss had ordered 2 mini waffles with nutella!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrr! seriously??????? She was like, I ordered dessert for both of us! I was like, oh thank you but I can not eat that! she was like, come on Anna, you better get used to it! They love dessert in France.

Omg! I had 75% of that waffle! it was so damn good!!!!! I hate I love to eat!
After work I went to the doctor and got lost. I had to walk like 20 blocks to find this place! I guess that was good for a small workout right? OMG I cant wait for my hip bones to pop out! Thats another obsession!!!

Today Im 152!!!!!

Thats exciting, because I managed to loose 2.7 pounds even having a waffle for dessert! haha... this kind of news make me happy! Its becoming harder for me not to eat at night! I hate it! any suggestions??? I had to brush my teeth like 3 times last night so the food would taste horrible! I also took laxies so probably Im under 152 because I weight before going to bathroom. Anyway...

Turkey (light meat) Salad...................................................... 242.9

A portion of Mango.............................................................. 107.3

Mini waffle with Nutella........................................................ 282.5

50gr Light Peanuts................................................................ 120

TOTAL: 752.7 cal

Fuck you waffle!!!!!!!!!!

Day 21

Yesterday was a good day I guess.

I did something right for once, because this morning I am at 154.7. Not the biggest lost, but it is a start from all the shit Ive been going through. I ended up having 3 small cups of coffee without sugar :) yaaay! 50gr of light peanuts, fat free yogurt, an apple and 2 slices of cheese at night. grrrrrrrrr.

That was the guy Im dating´s fault! Oh yeah.... things are great about him <3 <3 <3

Hes the cutest and I can not believe how happy I am, and its been only a week hahaha. Im silly. But yesterday he went to my place to watch a movie and was hungry so I made him a sandwich. He went to the kitchen to help me and started eating slices of ham and cheese and although I tried to stop him we were just fooling around and then he gave me cheese and I couldnt help it! I didnt want to be like Im too mature and I wont play with food, when I really just didnt want to eat.

ok, I guess it wasnt that bad:

2 slices of mozzarella cheese (whole milk)............... 170 cal

3 small cups of decaff coffee..................................   0 cal (According to Recipe Calculator)

a green apple........................................................   81.5 cal

50gr of light peanuts..............................................  120 cal

Activia fat free, no cholesterol yogurt.....................   80 cal

TOTAL: 451.5

Im back! :)

Much love to all of you!

Stay strong.

Day 20 - Happy Anna is back!!!!

OMG!!!

What did this guy do!!!!!!!!!? are u fucking kidding me????? Is there any better inspiration than this???? WOW!!! Seriously!!!!! I was watching the MTV VMAs last night and when this guy presented an award I was like who the hell is that??? Then he started making fun of his lost weight and I realized who he was!

What better way to start the week! Im sorry again for letting you down the past days.... I feel so much better now and Im ready to start again. As I was afraid of, I gain a lot of weight! Im 155.1 and it couldnt be worse. I feel like all I worked for the past 2 weeks I screwed it up in 4 days. Im very disappointed on myself. But I need to get it back! starting from now until Paris.

Although this was discouraging news, Im full of energy and ready to start out fresh! Remember the guy I met last week? Well he called when I was at my worst and was the sweetest person ever! I like him a lot. Friday night we went on a proper first date and had dinner and then cocktails! grrrrrrrr!!! we´ve been talking every single day since then and I feel great. He was a big help to get my mood back in track, but not the best for my diet. anyway....... Im in a really happy place now and ready to go! Thanks again for all the support! I wont let you down again!

xoxoxo

Day 19

Hi guys!
Thank you so much for all the support. I was really sad last week.... not only because of the eating but I dont know. I just felt so lonely. it was bad. and Im not proud of what I did.
It was not only one day. thursday, then friday, I ate horrible this weekend, I suck!!!!!

I forgot about everything. why was I dieting for? Work was crazy this week. I was falling apart, everything was bad. Im so sorry to let you down! I left myself down too. :(

Im ready to start over from tomorrow! I still have 28 days until I go to Paris. Its gonna be a fresh start and I need all your help and support to keep on track. Im super scared of the scale, I NEED to weight tomorrow morning and start again, but I will die if I gain too much. Seriously!

I have to be strong!!!!!!!!! I want all of you to be proud of me! enough is enough!!!!! I screwed it up this 4 days. but Im ready to smile again and clean my body from all the crap I putted in.

Day 16 - Im a failure!

Im a big failure! thats all I have to say.
I had a breakdown yesterday! m&ms, cheese, jam, crackers, mushroom soup, aghr, I hate myself!
Im in a really bad place right now! I dont even wanna post anymore. I almost throw up my bowels yesterday! I had forgotten what it was to do that and the emptiness you feel after, not only in your stomach, but in your soul.

Day 15

I still cant figure something out for my computer!
this sucks! I really want to comment on your blogs and I cant! Has anyone had a problem like this with blogger before? It says my account (annabarnes90@gmail.com) has no access to see that page, refering to any blog I go! I hate this!!!!!

This day is absolutly ridiculous! I left my apartment really late for work. Then I get to the office to realize I forgot the office keys at my house. Take a cab back, go for the keys, take another ridiculously expenssive cab back to work and this guy misses the street where he had to turn! GRRRRRR!!!!! ended up walking in the middle of the street trying to get to the office only an hour late!

Seriously! Ive been super cranky because this guy I told you about hasnt called or anything! What the hell! Now I feel like such a loser for: 1st. kissing him, and 2nd. thinking so much about him!
I did a horrible thing yesterday. I ate soooooooo much peanut butter!!!!! I bought the fat free one, because I read somewhere you could have strawberries with a spoon of peanut butter for a healthy snack. Well, I couldnt stop!!! I tried a little bit without the strawberries and fell deep down! Im disgusting!!!! And the worst thing was that I couldnt stop! ---- I can not believe I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to have a social life again!!!!! huge mistake!!!! Going to parties on the wknd, drinking, meeting assholes in bars, going out for lunch with coworkers, and buying that peanut butter! I was better when I was being a loner! not eating at all.... really small intakes..... the girl you guys were proud of! Not this I´ve become this week! :(

I need to get back in track! I need to loose this weight! I was so strong for 13 days and now everything is falling apart! I feel like crying! I suck!

To -MLS- Stay strong honey! Try not to binge. And thanks on the suggestion but I hate omelets haha
To A Friend of Ana. 112.6!!!!!!!! OMFG! youre amazing! congratsss
To Weightless. Im feeling the same! I also need to get back in track. Lets try it together starting next week.
To Skinny Love. A pound every 2 days its awesome! keep up the good work. Dont be like me!

Love you all!

Day 14

Hi guys!
I was so glad to see those comments on my last post! I thought u all forgot about me. Thank you seriously for the support.  So, my stupid computer broke or something, so now I can only post from the office and I dont know whats wrong with the configuration here but I can post as me, but when I try going into your blogs to comment it says Im annonymous or that I dont have a google account. Crazy blogger! Anyway, I will comment as annonymous I guess haha until I figure out what to do with my computer at home. this sucks!

About the guy I met, he added me on facebook haha, and we talked yesterday :) I dont use fb that much, but I guess I will a little bit more now! Today Im the same weight I was yesterday. Im OK with it. I had a small brownie yesterday (really really small I swear), so I was super duper scared of the scale this morning.  I wont do that again. You´re always saying how strong I am and I have to! I wont let you down!

I dont know why I have been drinking less water than last week! but I have to take control again!
Plan for today: Mango, 1.8 liters of water (at least), dont know what to have for late lunch. Im tired of tuna.... Any ideas???? Help!

Love you all!

Day 13

its been almost 2 weeks already since I started and every day seem more easy to archive it with success. Yesterday tho was a little harder than usual. Once again I forgot to take my pill in the morning since I slept almost until 2pm! so I just had fruit and a salad around 6pm.

watching jersey shore (oh yeahh big fan right here!) at night I felt this necessity to eat something. I went to the kitchen but I couldnt find anything!! agggg frustrating! I ended up having two hard boiled eggs.
Ok, down to business... Friday I was at 151.8 and after a not so good weekend, with the drinks sat night and the eggs yesterday, today I am 149.16

Im OK with this. Not super excited, but cant also be mad! I mean I lost 2.64 pounds in 3 days even having a couple of drinks. So Im gonna keep going :) I´ll be very strict this week and see how are things by the end of the week.

I decided Im gonna keep going after Paris for a rocking body by halloween!
I saw this costume and I just looooooooove everything about it! I cant wait to be a peacock! haha

The plan for today is: Fruit. probably mango or an apple. 18 almonds and a cesar salad.

Day 12

Oh my...
Im so glad I went to that party yesterday :) it was a blast! I had the best time ever and was so happy to see all my friends. I ended up having to glasses of vodka and 2 SF redbulls. I was doing great but there was so much liquor involved that sometimes when we were all dancing around, they would passed around the bottles and the guys would made me drink. Im not proud. I probably did 6 shoots of those :(

Im guessing I gain. the scale will say tomorrow.
I dont care... I had the best time and was looking great, I was drunk with my vodka, yesterday ended up just having a portion of banana and strawberries and a bag of peanuts so it was easy for me to be drunk. but the cool thing was, I wasnt nasty drunk or wasted, but fun, hyper and happy.

I met the most sweetest guy yesterday! haha! I cant believe it because I usually dont go for guys in bars and clubs, but hes different. super cute, a gentleman, and dances amazing :) Im really excited about this dude! I have no idea what he did to me but I cant stop thinking about him! We talked about everything, laughed, joked around, it was like we knew each other forever! OMG Im like a little girl!!!! Im soooo excited hahaha... hes an amazing kisser and the sweetest thing in the world. He asked my friends for permission to take me home! I never leave a club with strangers but it felt right. I could feel I could trust him so I did. crazy much? Nothing happened lol. He brought me home, kissed goodbye and asked for my number.

Today I've been in bed all day. Dont know if its bc Im super tired or hangover. But it was so worth it :). I hope all of you had great weekends too.

Tomorrow its monday wohooooo!  Lets get started on that diet again.

Food: A banana
          Strawberries
          A can of Tuna with Lettuce
Water: 600 ml

Day 11

Helloooo!
I think yesterday was the hardest day ever. Not for the food, but I was feeling super sick, tired and weak. My period cramps combined with constipation and I guess hunger were the worst! I decided to walk from my office to my house intead of taking a cab. Well, I was almost there and felt like fainting. I had to stop and rest.

Oh well, Im better today! Im full of energy and ready to go!
I have a big party tonight! One of my friends rented a limo and everything and Oh gosh I know theres gonna be such much drinking involved!!!!!! Im a little bit scared, but I dont wanna miss it! I havent seen my friends in about 3 weeks! I have to be strong, I just have to! its gonna be a challenge for me, one that I have to overcome!

I have 3 cans of SF redbull! Im thinking on not eating at all. Maybe I'll just have a glass or two of vodka and thats it! I dont know... we'll see how I feel, since yesterday I just had coffee, peanuts and strawberries.
wish me luck ladies! Im going shopping for shoes to lift me up :)

love you all!

Day 10

Good morning!

Today I woke up and hour earlier. Dont know why, I took a shower and turned on the tv after to watch the weather channel when I realized I still had 30minutes of sleep. grrrrr! I went back to bed and tried to sleep for a bit but I couldnt!

The scale today showed 151.8 that sucks! Yesterday I was 151.58!

but I guess its not like a huge difference so Im just gonna let that pass. I might not weight myself every single day. will see if I can resist. I got my period today and I feel bloated! I hate it! Also I get the most horrible cramps and I just wanna rest in bed all day long. Instead Im at work wanting to die.

is there anything prettier than collarbones?

if so tell me.... Im obsessed. I cant wait for mine to pop up like the ones in this pictures!

a tank top just look soooo much better when u can see your clavicle. This will help me through the day :)

I might disappoint some of you today but I think Im gonna have a lot of coffee!!! drinking hot stuff help my cramps go away. so yeah... I bought splenda tho! So at least Im not gonna have any sugar with it.

xoxoxo

So far today: Nothing.... I feel sick. I had my pill this morning and around 200ml of water. Im going for that coffee right now! 3rd cup of the day by 4pm. I havent been able to eat anything bc of the cramps. I might die.

Food: 50gr of light peanuts (the label says 120cal)
           3 small cups of coffee (dont count as food but oh well)
Water: 200ml

Day 9 - My biggest fear!

Hi girls!
Yesterdays afternoon was pretty good. I was feeling very productive at work and after that I got a call from my mom. I decided to tell her I was on a diet, like you guys suggested and her reaction was awesome! She supported me (I didnt tell her I was just eating fruit and almonds tho haha) and even asked me to send her the diet so she could loose some weight also. Crazy mom.

So, I finally got a scale!!!
I went to the store yesterday to buy some SF Redbull, splenda for my coffee adiction (I can not drink it without sugar, I suck!), more apples and salmon. I was walking around and saw this really cool digital scale and decided to get it! I was super excited, I came back home and throw away a lot of stuff from my fridge. Then I confronted my BIGGEST FEAR.... I dont even want to write how bad it was!!
I mean I knew it was going to be bad, but..... oh well, its just hard to find out youre a disgusting pig! Im 157.3, so that makes my Paris goal a little bit harder! I need to loose 24.2 pounds before September 25th.
----------------------------until here I wrote it last night before going to bed.

And even tho, this was discouranging news :(
I have a purpose and the ambition to archive it! So yeah, its gonna be harder, but not impossible! I feel like I can conquer anything with you guys support! Now my mom is also helping me. She got me pills for constipation, I wasnt doing any #2 since day 3 of the diet hahaha! So that will probably help too!

And the BEST of all news is that I woke up this morning  to try again my new scale an it showed 151.58!!!! I seriously have no fucking clue how I lost 5.72 pounds over a night! That thing has to be broken or something! I thought I was standing wrong or something. I did it like 9 times and every single time it showed the same 151.58. Im thinking probably last night gave me a wrong weight. I didnt check and only did it once. But whatever! Im excited now and it seems like my diet is working! After my happy discover I tried on a dress I used to wear all the time for work. Very simple and classy, but the last time I tried it it was super tigh on my arms and I looked like a cow in a dress! well ladies..... it fitted!!!

Im on such a great mood now! Thank you one more time for everything! You guys are THE BEST! And since I was feeling inspired, this is for you........

I wish I could take you all to Paris with me :)

So far today...

Food: A portion of green Mango (i love this!)

          A Tuna Salad (olive oil for dressing)
          18 almonds

Water: 1.8 liters

Day 8

Hello ladies!
Today its been a crazy crazy day at work. Sometimes I feel like my boss takes advantage of me and make me do all her job because she knows I cant do anything about it! And she knows how excited I am about Paris! I guess I just have to suck it up for 39 more days.... grrrrrr

I throw away that parfait she got me yesterday. seriously... NOT HEALTHY AT ALL!!! I couldnt resist and stuck my finger into that and taste a little bit of the cereal and yogurt and it was soooo sweet! I had to get rid of it! Everyday I feel more and more strong about my diet! Im more confident and super proud Ive been able to resist the temptation!

I have to go back to work. But I wanted to leave you with pictures of the amazing Jessica Stroup! Look how big she was and how pretty she looks now :)  its a huge inspiration. Even tho I hate her character in 90210.

Thank you one more time for all your support!

I love reading all your blogs! Im so proud of your weight! I can wait to be under 120!!!!!!

So far today....

Food: A portion of green Mango

          15 Almonds

          A small cup of coffee (with sugar! grrrr! I was so stressed this morning!)

          A green apple

          50gr of light peanuts

Water: 1.8 liters

xoxo

Day 7

OMG!!!!!
I cant stand my mom!!! seriously! she always says I need to loose weight, I should start a diet, I have to exercise more, blah blah blah.......... So I called her today to asked her to send me more of those pills Ive been taking. She was like "Yeah, I ll send u those! but youre not gonna loose a pound if you keep drinking how you been doing it! how was your wknd btw?" and I said "well mom, you ll be proud to know I didnt have a drink this wknd!" and she 1st. laugh at me! 2nd. said "haha yeah right! I dont believe u, so dont even try!"

Im sooooooooo freaking mad at her right now! I hang up! I couldnt talk to her anymore! its like she doesnt have any faith on me! and that makes me so sad, because Ive been trying so hard! and Ive been so dicipline! oh well.... sorry, Im just really upset right now.

So far today. Nothing.
I need to start drinking my water.
love you guys! I cant believe some of you are even more supportive than my own family! Thank u for that

++++++ EDIT

Im so much more calm now! Thank u for your sweet comments :)

Now the issue is my boss... When she found out last week I wasnt eating a big lunch she freaked out and gave me a preaching on loosing weigth the "healthy way". Shes french btw, I work for a french company and thats why Im going to Paris. anyway... shes not your typical french lady.
Before meeting her I imagined her tall, skinny, red head,  blue eyes, fashionable... well shes totally the opposite haha. Not that tall,  dark skin, brown hair and brow eyes, not fashionable at all (somedays she wears tenis shoes to come to work), and not skinny!

So lately shes been acting kinda weird and sometimes I feel like she wants me to gain weight! She said I dont need to loose a pound. But its not about what she thinks! its about how I feel! well she walked into the office today with a parfait from a cafe around the office and gave it to me. Thank god I was eating a mango when she gave it to me, because I had the perfect excuse to put it in the fridge and tell her I was going to eat it later. Im soooo dying to eat it, but Im sure is not healthy at all, it has like 3 different kinds of fruits, sugary cereal and a pink yougurt Im possitive its not fat free :(

Then she gave me a bag of M&M´s and not even the small one! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! so much temptation!
What should I do with her? Should I throw away the parfait? What if she notices it?

Food:  A portion of Mango (Green, acid mango with lemon and salt. I should avoid the salt but its
           sooo good and at the end is a fruit right? I was craving this kind of mango for a while. I
           dont like sweet mangos)
           17 Almonds
           A can of Tuna
Water: 2.1 liters
          

Day 6 - Bring it on Monday!

Last night my best friend called me and invited me to go have a beer with a group of friends, but following you guys instructions I said no. HELL NO! Im not putting that crap into my body.
She knows Im on a diet, but have no idea how strict it is, and I dont feel like telling her... when I was 16 I was bulimic and when she found out she told her mom and her mom told my mom and it was so retarded!

she just doesnt get it! she can eat whatever she wants and dont gain a pound! lucky bitch! haha, and I love her to death, but I wanna prove myself! I HAVE to loose this weight for Paris and Im so strong about it now! no one is stopping me!

I forgot to take my pill to suppress appetite yesterday and it was super hard! Im definitely not making that mistake ever again. is the day I've eaten the most.:(
Today I feel so good! full of energy and wanting to go out! I didnt have to work today (yaaay!) so Im gonna take a long walk, hit the malls and buy flowers for my apartment and makeup for me! Im in the best mood!

thank you again for all your help and support! Im making a journal with all your tips and advices! :)
I feel like I know you already! You have been so supportive and I couldnt ask for anything else!

Food:  6 almonds
           A caesar salad with chicken (without dressing)
Water: 1.8 liters

Day 5

So last night I ended up not going to that party :(
I dont know... it was a huge temptation and I dont feel ready to get into that yet. Maybe for next weekend when Im already on the 10th day I'll be stronger!

I dont have a boyfriend, but this guy I've been seeing on and off invited me out. I stayed home friday night so I didnt want to feel like such a loser and said yes! we went for dinner around 6pm and I was super scared for the food!!! I ordered a caesar salad with salmon instead of chicken. How did I do?

So far today...

Food:  24 Almonds
            A can of tuna
            A green apple
Water: 1.8 liters 

Hey girls, Im doing laundry today, I live by myself, it easier for not eating because I dont have anyone to check on me and my parents live far away from here. Anyway... Im doing laundry and Im feeling kinda weak! Do u guys know any foods I could eat to keep my energy without gaining any weight???

Thank you again for your comments and support!

Day 4 - My drinking Dilemma!

Hello ladies!
Its day 4 and only my 2nd day as a blogger and I already have some support! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
this is going to be so much easier with your help :)

I wanna loose 22 pounds!
I need to get a new scale! I really dont know how much I weight right now! I just know I dont like what I see in the mirror!

So far today I've had a green apple, 600ml of water and 6 almonds. 

I have a party tonight and dont know if I should go or just stay home! Its a lot of temptation. I drink a lot!!!! I love my vodka, cocktails, sake, tequila, champagne, omg everything!!!! I've been drinking a lot lately and I want it to STOP! its so hard tho, my social life is huge! I always get invited to parties and stuff like that and I just wanna know if any of you have been on the same place.......... what should I do?

think thin! :)

Food: 12 Almonds
          A green apple
          A caesar salad with salmon
Water: 600ml

Day 3

TODAY!!!
Happy friday!

It was a little bit harder than yesterday! but when I feel like eating I see all the amazing pictures of skinny models in Paris Fashion Week, and I feel like sticking to my diet!

Food: 24 Almonds
          A green apple
          A tuna can
Water: only 1.2 liters :(

For those who want to try it, Almonds are the best snack out there!

They are great with water to help suppress your appetite. They are low cal but you can't over indulge 24 per day!

Day 2

I wanted to make the blog since day 1.
but I didnt have the time until today. TGIF!!!
so, thats why days 1, 2 and 3 have the same date!

Day number two, was fine also. Had a small bag of light peanuts and an apple! :)

Food: Aprox. 50gr of Light Peanuts
          A green apple
Water: 1.8 Liters

Day 1

First day was surprisingly easy!
I had a small cup of coffee around 11am (with sugar tho), and that was it!
Very proud of myself.

Food: Coffee
Water: 1.2 liters.